The Effects of Bad Parenting May be Insidious
When something is described as insidious, it means it is a thing which does harm in a stealthy and gradual manner. This is exactly how bad parenting manifest in the life of children. It will be a mistake if parents check only for external signs of distress or change in behavior of their children to rate how well they are doing in parenting them. The truth is that the negative effects of bad parenting is not always immediately evident in the external manifestations or behavior of children. Children are by their nature very resilient, very loving, with a great love for life; always seeking excitement and fun. Consequently, it is possible for a child to be living in an abusive, discounting family setting and yet maintain his or her comportment and exciting personality. This include quickly getting over a horrible spanking or verbal abuse and switching few minutes thereafter to a playful, cheerful and exciting mood. In childhood he is dependent, with no immediate way out of the horrible situation, so he or she reasons, “What can I do? I’ll just have to adjust to this situation.”
Playing and having fun is so critical to the child at this stage of life. So he quickly returns to probably the only things which can make him happy, that is playing. It is the main thing that occupies the bulk of what would have been his boring long days. Be sure however that the bad experience which may come in the form of physical or verbal abuse are continually being recorded in his brain in a permanent, inerasable form. Therefore, when parents look only for external manifestations and assess the quality of their parenting based only on that premise, they are bound to experience the shocker of their life by the time these children are done transiting into adulthood, with many years of mental recordings of abuse. By the time the internalized abuse starts metamorphosing into deviant and anti-social behaviors, it’s most likely too late in the day to start taking corrective or remedial measures. Such children simply go out of the control of their parents and the consequences are usually disastrous.
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