Parenting Mistakes

The Fate of your Child Depend on your Decisions

One of the reasons why I have so much sympathetic feelings for children is the fact that they are innocent, helpless souls. Imagine the fact that a new born baby is tabula rasa. Tabula rasa is a theory which postulates that the human mind at birth is a blank slate, before ideas are imprinted on it through experience, perception and external impressions. The implication of this is that we are at liberty as parents to write on the blank minds of our children whatever we choose, either through our positive interactions with them from the time of birth, or through our neglect and abuse.

Unfortunately, not all parents take advantage of this unique opportunity for positive impact. Many parents through ignorance, willful or careless neglect give room for many deeply negative impressions in the minds of their children which may come back to hunt the parent and, more particularly, the child for the rest of his life.

Because of the helpless condition of the child at birth and up until he or she stops being a young person, the fate of that child depends on the decisions the parents make on his behalf. In addition, many personal decisions that parents make may have impact on their children lives as adults.  

The following are a few areas where parental decisions work either for the good or against children.

  • Parenting Education: The decision parents make to acquire or refuse parenting education will go a long way to impact on the psychological well being of their children for life. Whether the parents decide to get proper continuous parenting education or whether they assume they know it all and as such, see parenting as a job which can be done on the fly or by default, will have direct impact on the ability of their children to become successful adults and maximize their potentials in life. The refusal or neglect by parents to continuously acquire parenting education is often due to laziness, ignorance and an unwillingness to pay the price to be properly guided and trained as a parent. Many of such parents usually come to a realization of the truth when it’s too late. By the time their children become adults, they suddenly realize their children have become “broken or damaged products.” The end result is that children of parents who took the time to properly learn the ropes of parenting as their children were growing up, end up becoming more confident, responsible and successful. Some parents may argue that their own parents and grandparents did not acquire parenting education. Such modern parents should note that the times have changed. Life and family have become much more complex.
  • Nurturing Communication: Your decision and commitment as a parent to engage in positive nurturing interaction and communication with your children will go a long way to affect who they become as adults. You can by your singular decision to positively interact with your children or omit to do so, produce either mature, responsible, confident children with an unshakable sense of personal security, or harassed, immature and timid children.
  • Choice of Schools: Another decision you will take as a parent and one that may hurt the life prospects of your children if poorly taken, is the type of schools you decide to send them to. As children attain school age, they are rarely involved in the decision on which school they attend. By the time they are ready to start school, they are too young to be part of that decision making process. Parents who take this decision must know the right schools to send their children to at every point in time in their educational career. In this regard, expensive schools does not necessarily transform to good schools. A lack of knowledge of the criteria to consider in the choice of schools for their children often lead parents to make the wrong choice, thereby producing mediocre or incompetent children who have not been well-grounded in their chosen field of endeavor.
  • Marriage: Whether the parents decide to maintain a loving, stable and happy married life, will have tremendous impact on the well-being of their children. Children who grow up in a loving, nurturing and conflict free environment have a psychological advantage over children from dysfunctional homes that are ridden by constant conflicts, harsh and abusive words, separation or divorce. Divorce have a way of running in some families, all dependent on the foundation laid by their forebears.
  • Personal Life Style:  Many personal life-style choices parents make, unknown to them, have a direct impact in several ways on their children. A father who is constantly inebriated may soon damage his health and leave his children fatherless. Parents who indulge in immoral and extra marital sexual affairs may transmit the same habit to their children, who carry on the same life style after them. It does not even matter if the children know about the affairs or not. By a mysterious process of transference of spirit, these children may eventually assume the same immoral attitude. Parents who do not imbibe a personal lifestyle that guarantee their continuous health, may eventually become a physical and financial burden on their children in trying to restore their damaged health, or even render their children orphans at an early age.

It is important as a parent to seriously weigh your decisions before taking them. The interest of your children should be paramount in your mind. It is generally unadvisable for parents to take decisions recklessly and this includes financial decisions.

The foregoing are just a few areas parents should take the right decisions to ensure the utmost interest of their children. For these and many other parenting strategies, which when consistently applied will ensure you reap the bountiful harvest of well-rounded and balanced children, please consider attending one of our webinars.

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